Monday, November 26, 2007

foggy...


The high temperature yesterday was around 50 degrees. Last night, the low was listed as 50 as well, and again the high today is 50. All of that, plus the early morning rain, resulted today in fog...at 2:00 in the afternoon this is what my backyard looks like. I love the way it looks, so mysterious and enclosing. The air smells good, too. I'm feeling foggy as well, though. The weekend felt longer than weekends are supposed to feel. Thanksgiving worked out well. I had no idea what we were actually going to do. Normally I'll hear from my brother early in the week, and we decide if we are going to drive out to Lancaster for the day or stay home and cook our own turkey. Traveling on Thanksgiving Day can be very slow, so it's not such a simple decision when a one hour + ride can take three or more. We've learned, though, to avoid route 30 which is a direct route to my brother's for us. When there's traffic there it slows down to a crawl, so we take the PA turnpike and go north and then head down south into Lancaster and backtrack to my brother's. In any case, we didn't do that this year. I had bought a turkey breast and a small ham for us, and a pie for visiting, so I had all the bases covered. We got a call on Wednesday....late, but we did want to go. However, on Thursday no one really felt a strong pull to get in the car and hit the road. It was just as well, since they were having heavy rains and winds which were heading our way and would have made traveling difficult. So, I spent the day cooking and we had a nice time at home. I spoke to my brother and my mother on the phone, which was also nice. However, I did get a call on Sunday from my sister-in-law telling me how all the family is worried about me and wondering where I've been. I tried explaining how life has been lately, sometimes like walking through molasses, but it became clear to me that she really wasn't interested in how I was, just wanting to let me know that I wasn't living up to some family standard and needed to shape up! Well, I don't believe in standards, so I think I was a bit infuriating to her. I wasn't happy with her call either, but felt that I held to my own truth pretty well, considering that she wasn't really listening, but all the same, I didn't get upset and just tried to be as clear as I could about my situation. I thanked her for her concern, also, since after all, there was concern there, and that's always nice no matter how it comes across. I've always wanted a close family...my sons and I are very close, and so I do have that, but the extended family has always been a challenge for me. I am the 'rebel' to them....into such things as astrology and flower essences....crazy new age stuff....why can't I just toe the line and be 'normal'? I send them good energy...I don't dwell on the negative, but I also don't go out of my way to fit in with them, that's too unhealthy for me to not be true to myself, though it's been a struggle at times. I could hear her getting more and more angry, but holding it in...not healthy either...but a good way for people to try to manipulate others....'well, you do what you like, let us know if you need anything, bye'. I always wish for more clarity, better communication, but there are times when trying to do that just creates more conflict, and then I end up looking like an antagonist, so I stay relatively quiet, and just let the other person say their piece. If they want to listen, I'm ready to talk, but sometimes people just want to let you know that they're in charge and that you don't know anything, so what can you do?

I've had some wonderful realizations this weekend, I think that's why I feel so foggy today. It takes time to incorporate new ways of being and to start to know how to put them into action. The fact that Mars is retrograde right now just turns action inward, so it may take time for anything to actually be put into practice. When I was born, Mars was also retrograde. For me, this means that I do a lot of inner processing before taking action. Most people, with Mars in forward motion in their birthchart, are accustomed to taking immediate action...so I tend to confuse people. Now, with a double dose of Mars retro for me, I'm still trying to understand what it means...I do feel slower than usual, but with so much going on inside...tons of creative ideas and plans for the future, but not much actually manifesting in day to day life. At least it's not just me now, as everyone is being affected by this to some extent. I think that Uranus going direct this weekend has just added to the creative, unusual ideas running through my head...what a combination!

I am reading a book that I highly recommend to anyone who is trying to understand the recent outpouring of information on the Law of Attraction. It is called The Astonishing Power of Emotions by Esther and Jerry Hicks. This one fills in all the gaps in what we are being told through books like Think and Grow Rich, Ask and It is Given, and the movie The Secret. It's what we are feeling in any given moment that has the most effect on what happens in our lives. In any given moment, we have the possibility of reaching for a better feeling...just a slightly better feeling is enough to set the wheels in motion towards an even better feeling and ultimately towards a better outcome in our lives. Abraham likens it to traveling on a river and either fighting the current and trying to paddle upstream, or going with the flow and co-creating with the flow of the current to get ourselves to where our lives want to take us in the first place. I think it seems from all the New Age messages that are out there that we can just choose what we want in our lives and it will happen....well, there's a bit more to it, and this book puts it all in to perspective. Many will not be ready for what it says, but the message is very simple and easy to absorb for those who are ready to hear it. I've put a link to it at the sidebar, Amazon.com shows you the table of contents and some of the inside pages so you can see what it's about. The message is very empowering...there is no need to have your life all figured out, to try to manifest a future that you don't know is right for you or not...but just to take life one moment at a time, continually reaching for that better way of feeling from within yourself that is always there just waiting for you to notice it.

I've ordered some more stamps, these are coming from a seller in Thailand. The first set are Thai stamps...very intriguing to me....click on the photo to see the detail...
and find some info on Thai amulets here and here...

These stamps are from China...images from the Yungang Grottoes...


I wanted Buddha images to put into my glass pendants. I've been slow at getting these made as well, but looking forward to playing with these stamps and others that I have, as well as some photos. I've been collecting origami papers for the backs, though I may also use some of my handmade papers, too. I've dabbled in so many different forms of craft that I am amazed now at how much I can draw from to put together a single piece of jewelry or a sewn item...I love the range of possibilities...hopefully you'll be seeing results some time soon.

More to come, I hope. I've been so quiet lately, but I always know that this is how my life flows, and eventually the words come pouring out again.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

looking back...

The other day, when I was taking photos of the fall colors near the railroad tracks behind my house, I was also photographing little details and taking other photos of the effects of the mist on my surroundings. I played with some of the photos, cropping them and putting frames around them. Today I look at them and see an interesting theme.

To the left...I had cropped in to this part of the photo where a leaf had fallen while I was photographing....the branches seem to be trying to catch it, and the idea of letting go seems to fit.










And this, to the right...I focused in on an old post with wire and a vine wrapped around it....tied up...grabbing on, maybe...or tied up in knots...






That brought me to this one...it seemed unconnected to the themes of the others, but maybe not...today I see a connection. The circles...enclosing each other but not grasping or holding on?...some form of harmony or unity here...

I think there are many themes that can be seen in these photos...even the opposite to what I have pegged onto them....


I like that they were all taken at the same time, while I was in a particular mood...I can look back now and wonder at what it is I was seeing from within myself...and you can find your own meanings in the photos depending on what mood or state of mind you are in at the moment.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

a bit of fall color...




creativity...

About this Talk (from TED.com)

Sir Ken Robinson makes an entertaining (and profoundly moving) case for creating an education system that nurtures creativity, rather than undermining it. With ample anecdotes and witty asides, Robinson points out the many ways our schools fail to recognize -- much less cultivate -- the talents of many brilliant people. "We are educating people out of their creativity," Robinson says. The universality of his message is evidenced by its rampant popularity online. A typical review: "If you have not yet seen Sir Ken Robinson's TED talk, please stop whatever you're doing and watch it now."




Sunday, November 11, 2007

november sunday...

It's been so long since I have felt like writing. Today, I'm not sure what I feel like doing, it's just that kind of a day. Yesterday, my sons took the train to Center City Philadelphia, to meet up with Carter for a day in Philly. They painted his basement and then headed out to tour the city and get something to eat. They entirely enjoyed themselves from what I was told. It's funny...I grew up in Brooklyn and was no stranger to trains and buses. Then we moved to PA and I guess I forgot all about those means of transportation. There was one trip on the train when the boys were little, because the train runs right through our backyard (practically) and I wanted them to see the train from the inside and know what it was. Now, they are finding out how easy it is to hop on and go...everything happens in it's own proper timing.

I drove them to the Glenside station again yesterday...not even thinking to check the schedules at the two stations that are in walking distance from home! It was a good thing, though, as I found a farmer's market and bought a beautiful head of organic lettuce, and also read the sign on the cafe at the station...they are looking to hire a high school student to help them clean and organize...just perfect for Michael, who's been bugging me about finding a job for him. While they were out, and with George's permission, though I don't think he expected much....I gave his room a total overhaul. It was several hours of picking through all kinds of stuff and moving things and cleaning from corner to corner. Anyone who has ever seen his room will understand....today I have sore muscles that I had forgotten I ever had...I guess I was so intent on getting it all done before they came back that I didn't even notice what I was doing. It was well worth it...George has a new start in a clean space now that had been becoming overwhelming for quite a while. He has plans to build a shelf unit for his clothes and books and things, and the space is clear for him to do that now.



I took my camera out to the backyard today when I saw two deer grazing on acorns. I went slowly and quietly...they saw me, but didn't get alarmed, and I was able to get pretty close for some decent photos. I think it was a mom and her little one, probably the ones I saw 'kissing' a little while ago. To the left is mom...she was quite calm about me being there. The younger deer was more nervous and was the first to run away, but came back when mom stayed. The next photo was taken when my neighbor came walking down the back driveway...they were pretty alert for that...the further away one is the younger deer.



So now I am alternating between computer time and cleaning some more and also getting ready for Michael's birthday which is next week. He'll be 15...he's very happy about that...no longer so new at being a teenager. He's borderline for being taller than me now (I'm about 5 foot 8)...I keep getting reminders of that, so I'm actually looking forward to when it's definite so I won't have to hear about it anymore.

My next project is going to be rearranging the living room. I would like to do that this week before Michael's birthday. My plan is to exchange places between the ferret cage and the piano, so the piano will have a more central position opposite the front window. George used to play a bit when he was younger. My mother taught me to play and I enjoy it when I can sit down and experiment with it. Lately, with two teens in the house full-time...these things are not so easy to do, but something I am planning to do more of in the future. Maybe I can get Carter to come back and play some more as well...(hint....and thanks Carter for the free day yesterday ;-)).

Time to go finish doing whatever it was I've been doing today...maybe I'll figure it out eventually.

...and, one more....from the train tracks while I was following the deer...a blurry photo of a fox as well.....maybe a little hard to see...to the right just below the first post and in between the two sets of tracks...

Friday, November 9, 2007

november new moon...

The Sun and Moon will be exactly aligned at around 6 pm est today. They are in the hexagram called The Creative...hexagram #1, which is in the sign of Scorpio.

This can be a time for opening up to higher principles and higher knowing.

From "A Guide to the I Ching" by Carol K. Anthony....

"Ch'ien (Heaven/The Creative) also represents the creative idea (Cosmic image) before it is transformed into reality. Everything that now exists, first existed as a Cosmic image. Accordingly, Ch'ien also represents the hidden, creative potential inherent in any situation. By creative potential is meant the path that, if taken, will further everyone and everything in that situation. This creative potential is the particularly appropriate answer to the problem at hand."

The Creative asks that we let go of our need to make anything happen through our own desire for a particular outcome, and that we open ourselves to possibilities that we may not have thought of on our own.

What a great way to start a new cycle for this lunar month!

happy dance...

This was originally posted on the Bird Lovers Only Rescue blog. I found it through this article at NewsTarget.com. This is Snowball, a rescued medium sulphur crested Eleanora cockatoo, dancing to the Back Street Boys' Everybody...